So today Dylan decided that he was going to become a stylist. The first foray into hair cutting started with Jade My Little pony - Pinkie Pie. He cut her mane into a mohawk and then turned the scissors on Jade Reese. He chopped a short layer into her hair just above her chin and went back past her ear. Needless to say, my daughters gorgeous curly long hair now looks like a bad Annie cut. I couldn't do much to save it and we are going to a wedding this weekend. So angry!

These are the newest pics of my beautiful babies. Dylan is 5 and Jade is 3. They are growing up too fast for me these days!

Oldies but Goodies

July 8, 2008 - Jade - WWE Female Star:
So, I'm in the bedroom yesterday morning getting ready to take the kids to the park for Kylan's birthday. I hear Dylan screaming like crazy, this isn't unusual so I just yell for him to 'deal with it'. I ignore the noise for a while and then five full minutes later he's still screaming, 'Mama, help me!!! Please!!!' So I decide to take a look. I walk around the corner from our bedroom to see what's happening and I see Dylan lying face down on the rug in the living room with Jade sitting on his lower back. She has her hand fisted in the front of Dylan's hair pulling his head back toward her and her other little hand in a fist and pushing at the base of his neck.
I was about to break up the fight when I hear Jade say, 'Are you gonna hit me again Dylan?'
I stifled a laugh and listened as Dylan begs for his little sister to get off, 'No I promise I won't, please...Mama help me!!!'
She lets him up and I decide that she handled herself just fine and that maybe, just maybe, Dylan learned a lesson! He didn't mess with her again for a long while. Baby girl's gonna take care of herself!


May 11, 2008 - The Sleepy husband:
Though several of you know my husband, you may not know that he has an unusual nocturnal activities. I heard stories of his sleep walking and talking before we were married, but they all related back to when he was little and were funny but people grow out of that, right? After we were married I discovered that he makes quite a bit of noise in his sleep. He smacks, snores, mumbles, and groans with the best of them. However the thing that really got me was when his dreams would somehow interrupt my reality. He would be sound asleep and I would be drifting off when suddenly he would jump out of bed and talk about a spider or a penguin (yes actual things he's done - scary I know!) He's never fully awake or aware of doing this though and does not respond well to being touched since he immediately thinks that what is touching him is what he was dreaming about. I finally learned to just tell him that I saw it too and that everything was under control and that he needed to lay back down now. He would and I would roll over and laugh myself silly!!!!!!!! However, Friday night really took the cake. I'm laying there reading and Brandon is sound asleep, suddenly he jumps and rolls toward me, I drop my book because he startled me a bit. Then he starts patting me down like a cop searching for weapons or drugs all the time saying "Whoa, did you feel that?"
I replied, "What, you touching me?"
"Yeah!" he says
"Yes, I felt that."
"Okay." Then he rolls over and goes back to sleep.
Weird, I know. But it made me laugh. I laugh even harder when I tell him about the incident later, so does he. But hey that's marriage - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the really weird! LOVE you honey!

December 18, 2007
Ready to Wear...Penis?

My beautiful daughter Jade is now two years old and potty training. She comes to tell me when I need to change her diaper or if she needs to "go muddy." It's been very cute so far. Today however, when she had to go potty, I went with her to teach her a few things. I was teaching her how to pull down her pants, take off her diaper, and throw it in the trash. She was half naked and doing quite well when Dylan wondered in. He took one look at her and said, "Jady Reese, why aren't you wearing your penis?" I had no control over the laughter that bubbled out! It's one of those times as a parent when you just have to laugh first and explain later. Can you imagine? I mean how funny is that? Later I had to explain things appropriately to Dylan, and he was quite shocked that girls are really so different from boys. Can't wait to have the whole sex talk with him if this was that descriptive! Seriously!?!

September 12, 2007 - One of those Days
So, today has been one of those horrible, no good, very bad days. You know, the ones that always make you question your sanity or your will to live, that kind of day. It started off simple enough, regular routine:
Breakfast
free play for the kids
morning snack
school time
big toy play time (while I get lunch ready)
.....then it gets interesting. Just before I am ready to serve lunch I go to get the children out of Dylan's room. The door is shut, it's never a good sign when the door is shut. I open the door and step on something wet. Immediately my mind races back to Dylan's urine art exhibition. But, I look around and all of the children are clothed and dry. Whew! Lucked out on that, however the floor IS wet so it's time to start asking questions. I begin to ask Dylan what is all over the floor when I see that Jade has a bottle of "touchable" bubbles. You know the ones I mean. They are SUPER soapy so that they can stand up to being touched and not pop! Dylan has carpet in his room. As I try to clean it up it just makes more suds. I quit, tell them the room is off limits and serve lunch. My wonderful mother comes to get Dylan for the afternoon and then I get Jade and Kylan ready for nap. I leave the room and check my e-mail. I come back five minutes later and Jade has taken off her diaper and pooped on the floor and is painting with it! I can not even tell you how disgusting it is to clean up a child covered in poop and all the while know that I have to clean up the floor and the nap mat too. I get Jade clean (Kylan is soundly sleeping through all of this, thank goodness) and then work on the floor and the nap mat. I stick Jade in her bed, she screams as I close the door without singing her nap song and then I walk away thinking that a massage wouldn't even take the edge off my stress. I guess this is what you would call a child-hangover!

July 8, 2007 - Miss Grace
I thought that everyone needed to know that Jade has her fair share of moments as well. She's not really a trouble maker, but she's plenty sassy! She also just happens to be the biggest clutz in the history of mankind. She's always been a little on the trippy side but when she is going through a growth spurt ( such as now) she really is a walking disaster.
Baby girl loves to climb and does it almost daily without injury. Today her adventures took place at my mother's house. So she decided to climb up and stand on a folding chair and jump up and down. I don't recommend this! She jumped, the chair folded, and she almost bit clean through her little tongue. It bled like a war wound and she HATED the taste of the blood in her mouth. She screamed the whole time we were trying to clean her mouth out. But, that wasn't enough damage; oh no.
About an hour later she was playing with my sandles. My mother (otherwise known as Mum) told her not to and to go get her own sandles. Jade runs off to find her sandles. She found them next to the coffee table. She bends down to get them and loses her balance. She falls straight into the coffee table and busts open her lip. Again with the blood and tears, only this time we got swelling too.
I decide it's probably time to leave and put the kids in bed since things seem to rapidly be spinning out of control. I take Jade to the bathroom to change her diaper. While I am gathering diaper supplies she somehow succeeds in slamming her hand in the laundry hamper lid. This time hysterical tears, shaking, and swelling (no blood, yeah!). I changed her diaper and left immediately! It's just one of the many ways that Jade can keep me busy just as much as her brother. She is very much my Miss Grace!

Dylan - My Little Picasso

Dylan decided today that he wanted to be Picasso. I say Picasso because I hate his stuff and this was nothing short of a catastrophie for me! Today was one of those days when you wish you'd never gotten out of bed. My beautiful Lola woke me up before my alarm went off because she needed to go out to potty. I'm not used to that yet and I'm definitely not a morning person, so I'll have to say I was put out by that. By 10:00 this morning I was wanting to invest in shock collars for children. That's right! Dylan, who talks non-stop anyway, has decided it is no longer important for him to use a normal decibel level while speaking. Instead he yells every single word and then when he's upset the level goes up even further. I'd had enough, so I finally told all the kids that if they spoke over my level of speaking they would all get spankings. I HATE giving warnings that aren't heeded so I just went right in for the kill! Dylan and Jade immediately got spanked. But, at least the yelling died down. I gave them some coloring sheets while I was fixing lunch and all four kids colored and were really good. When lunch was ready I cleared the table and made sure I was in posession of all of the crayons. They ate and then played while I cleaned up and took the puppy back out to potty...again. When I came back inside, their bedroom doors were shut. That is a big no-no at our house. So I go to check on them and what do I find? They had confiscated a crayon and Dylan signed his name to every peice of art he drew while the other three children looked on and laughed. I have to buy paint now. Like I said - one of those days!